Left Behind . . ..Delhi Diwali

Delhi ' 18:20 hours, sitting in our new Civic towards the Airport
She was standing there looking at me with shining eyes. Although age has wrinkled her facial skin yet somehow the eyes are still untouched by the ill that is around. Eyes which only seek comfort for me when I am around. Eyes which can fight with the whole world and yet mesmerize me with a single look. Eyes which were filled with varied emotions, joy (of meeting), sadness (of departing, of the loneliness that fills), confidence (about her upbringing), expectations??? Someday I am going to hold her hand and make her see the world the way she wanted to see. No questions asked enjoying every moment discovering something new.

Delhi Airport
After boarding the flight to Pune I  was lost in thoughts, a Khichdi of thoughts I would say. How am I going to bring happiness to her heart.....errr boss you should think about your career.......errrrrrrr Is there an end to this to bring eternal bliss . . . .. . .errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr the flight is late I wont get a sound sleep for tomorrow's meeting. . . .. . . .. . .errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Is this worth what I am sacrificing?????????????? Snap outttttttttt . . .We have to do something rather than think so much . .. . ..OOOOhhhhh that girl is beautiful .. . ... .  .not agaiiiiiiiiinnnnnn .. .The flight is delayed by an hour since the cabin crew is not able to get a satisfactory head count. Oooh god don't they have computers to do these stuff......and I thought I was boarding an airplane.

Every time I visit home I am filled with these never ending thoughts. Is it just me or there's something seriously wrong about this world. Ask any mother and you will know how she feels when her child goes out to study or work. "Ek na ek din to jana hi hai bahar, yahi life hai beta" the words might change but the meaning remains the same. Think about her life after 45 or 50 when she is old and all alone waiting for her son through out the year just to see a glimpse of him to caress him. And we are enjoying our life outside. Well it is not wrong to enjoy but ask yourself (boys) one serious question how many of you want a house wife to take care of you and your home while you work outside. Take a moment and think about her life - Would you like her to live this life when she grows old. When she has done everything for you and her family. When she has sacrificed everything there is just to ensure that everyone else in family is good.

Call me a little dramatic but I imagine her in a cage of materialistic pleasures when we all stand there and make fun of her for not being so smart. Well what we forget is that maybe she is not so "Worldy" smart because she spent a majority of her life trying to teach us to walk,talk, eat , sleep and what not....

Its like she has been left behind  . .. .So do go to her, reach out because you don't know her heart. If you walk  a mile towards her heart she will walk the whole distance towards you.

Waiting for that hug . . .

Ever had that feeling when all of a sudden the blurred memory comes back and you feel something just got completed ...as if some part of your life is fulfilled . . .as if comprehension of something which is of no use to you, yet it just made you happy....it made you want more of life . .. as if you took a free fall and now you want to do it again . . .its when you start wondering that why did god give you touch when you had eyes . . .
Leaving from my office to basement to my car .. .when all of a sudden I had that feeling of being alone . . .a gush of wind rushes down me as if hugging me ..  .trying to caress me. .. trying to get inside without my permission. .. . I get lost in the thoughts. . . .
Some volcano inside me trying to erupt, I think about my journey till now....god had a weird plan for me if I look back....the weirdness just does-not stop. .  .from a lively child to a bookworm to a freak out to a stressed child to an incomplete engineer (although got my degree with honours) to a post graduate. . .its been a roller coaster till now. . .yet the pieces seem to fall down to their right places. . .I think of those moments when I thought I could be anything .. . .its like being a super hero the ambitions just do-not die. . .yet here I stand accomplished and progressing (career wise) . . .Only its does-not feel right....do-not think that I do-not enjoy life but yet somehow I do-not understand the real question as it clutters my mind "What am I doing here?"
The only answer that I got till now was yesterday - a hug. . . .Well not me. . .but saw a beautiful girl being hugged by her father . . .I could see her clear eyes as if washed by rose water sparkle with joy. . . .and the father could-not withhold his emotions as his drowsy eyes sparkled with joy. . . Beau - - -ti - - -ful.......It all comes back to you . . . .I am still waiting for that hug of life . . . .May be there is some other answer for me . . .God only knows. . . .